And Now For Something Completely Insane!
by Lizzy1
Summary: Being the sequle to 'Gundam Wing: And The Old Hag' you'd have to guess, (if you have read the it) that this one is just as insane as the first! It has lots of spoofs in it, and please R+R!! ^-^
1. The Begining!

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY INSANE!

Part 1 : The BeGinninG

The Beatles, and the three remaining Gundam pilots, Duo, Wufei, and Quatre are all gathered around a table listening to a little tape recorder in a small dark room……

Tape: Hello, agents…this is your leader, headquarters has just informed me with information that your comrades, Miliardo Peacecraft, Trowa Barton, and Heero Yuy, have been kid napped!

John: they're not exactly kids…

Tape: Fine! Ummmm…Teenager napped!

Paul: ?! John, how did you get that tape recorder to listen to you?!

John: shut up and listen!

Tape: well, anyway, they were teenager napped…by the minstrels! Yes, the minstrels from the first sires! Remember how they just suddenly disappeared? Well, they had been plotting, for some time, to do this dirty deed! And now it is up to you, the seven remaining, to rescue them! We have found the location of the minstrels hid-out. It is in Australia-Sidney, Australia, you must go there and save them from, what we fear now, the worst! Good luck, agents! **dully the man on the tape says::** boom!

Duo: what the…

Tape: sorry, I didn't tell you I was going to explode…

Ringo: right….**opens the door so everyone can walk out**

Wufei: well, how are we getting to Sidney?

George: the car is out of the question…

Quatre: considering what happened to it, AND that we have to cross the ocean…

George: oh…

John: heh……I'm still sorry about the car…

Paul: …forgiven! Now get on with it!

(they all walk out of the room, and down the dark streets of New York, to a small hotel where they had been staying)

Ringo (putting the key into the lock of his bedroom door): hmmm…it seams to be stuck…**trying to turn the key**

(when the key finally turns, with the help of Paul, the handle begins to tick)

Paul: …what in sam hill…

John: **as he walks over to the two confused Beatles, he hears the ticking…** IT'S GONNA BLOW!! **Pushes Ringo and Paul to the ground, along with himself. Sure enough the whole door exploded**

George: **walks into Ringo's room through the severely damaged door** How covenant! They put one of those chocolate covered mints on your pillow that you love so much, Ringo!

Ringo: **from the floor** oh, joy…… **turns head to look at John **GET OFF ME, YOU TWIT! 

John: **getting up off the floor** that's the thanks I get for saving your life?

Ringo: **getting up and brushing himself off** …yea… **Walks into his room and eats the little chocolate covered mint and becomes happy again**

~Meanwhile, on another floor~

(there is a close up of Relena and the picture slowly comes away from her face, then she says::)

Relena: A beginning is a very delicate time, know then that the year is 10191. The know universe is ruled by the Padashaw emporer…a name I cannot pernounce- my father…in this time the most presius subtance in the universe is the spice-something-or-other….**She begines to fade out** the spice explands conciousness, the spice is vidal to space travil. **fades back in** The spacing guild and his navigators, who the spice has mutated over 4000 years, use the orange spice gass, which gives them the abilty to fold space, **fades out** that is to travil to any part in the universe without moving. **Fades back in**Oh, yes, I forgot to tell you, the spice only exsists in one planet in entire unverse, a desilet dry planet with vast deserts, hidden away within the rocks of these deserts are the people known as the…as the…as the…Aztecs! Who has long held a proficy that a man would come, the massia, who would lead them to true freedom. The planet is 'A Racket' also known as………'DUNE'……

(the picture moves slowy back tword her face, hits it, and she falls backward) 

Duo: **CLICK** I hate that movie… **changes the channal** she need to talk less…

~In Wufei room~

(Wufei is seen with a roll of cloth, he rolls it out on to the bed to reveal millions of different kinds of knives, guns, bullets, and pineapples.)

Wufei: ** in am evil voice** heh-heh-heh-heh-heh……**cheerfully** I'm set!

~In Quatre's room~

Quatre: **Playing mine-sweep on his lap top that he got for Christmas from all of his sisters** stupid bombs…**the computer begins to tick** …what the… 

(What appears to be the ghost of the pineapple from the first sires appears to Quatre)

Pineapple: **in an echoing voice** Quatre! You must throw the lap top out of the window! 

Quatre: NO! It was a gift from my sisters!

Pineapple: DO IT! Or you will die!

Quatre: ok, ok! Geez! **walks over to the window and throws the lap top out the window, it goes down to the ground floor and lands on a mans lap who was sitting on the patio of his hotel room, the lap top blows up and the man dies**

Quatre: well, at least that wasn't the first person I killed…**sweat-drop** 

~In Ringo's room…again~

Ringo: **Talking on the phone with the person in the lobby** Yes, I would like to have 700 boxes of chocolate covered mints delivered to me room tonight…what do you mean they'll cost $350?! People get them for free on their pillows! …fine! I'll pay it! But I guarantee you that I will never stay at this hotel again! **slams down phone**

George: **standing in the, still smoldering, doorway** what in name of Joe are you doing? Ordering 700 boxes of chocolate covered mints?!

Ringo: satisfying me tummy!

George: oi…**walks out of the room to his own**

~In Paul's room~

(Paul is seen on his balcony with a big bucket of water-balloons)

Paul: he, he, he…**drops a water balloon over the side and it hits and old grandma in the head, upon contact, Paul backs up against the wall in order not to be seen**

Grandma: you kids today! I do declare that you are menaces! 

Paul: **trying to refrain from laughing, but then nearly jumps out of him pajama's when he is taped on the shoulder by John**

John: having fun, are we? **Looks over the ledge to see hundreds of splat marks with little rings in the middle of them, indicating that Paul had been hitting people**

Paul: **trying to hide the bucket** e-heh…

John: Can I have some water-balloons? There is a really cute girl I wanna hit just below me room! **smiles widely**

Paul: I guess so, as long as you don't tell the manager who gave them to you…

John: **taking some water-balloons from the bucket** no! I won't! Thanks, mate!

Paul: no problem… **looks over the ledge for more old people**

~In George's room~

(George is seen watching a Spanish soup opera, with the door open…John walks past, sees George, and walks in)

John: What in the world are you watching?! 

George: **says something in Spanish**

John: …**Throws a water balloon at him**

George: thanks…I needed that…**changes channel**

~In Johns room~

(John enters the room with his water-balloons, now one short because of George and his Spanish soup opera)

John: aww! I'll pulverize that cute girl in the morning……wouldn't you agree that that is a nice wake up call? And to make it even better! **Puts the balloons in the refrigerator** he-he-he…I love being evil…**walks over to the bed and sits down, turns on the TV and sees a close up of Relena** 

John: AHHH! **Turns off the TV like he's seen the devil** what do you mean, author person?! I have seen the devil! **There is a drum roll from Ringo's room** …ok…I guess that _was _appropriate for the moment…but I'm gonna go to sleep now! Bye! **turns off the light**

~later that night~

(there is a knock on Ringo's…remaining door)

Ringo: **with a robe on he answers the door** yea, what do you want? 

(a lady that is pulling a very large cart says::)

Lady: here are your 700 boxes of chocolate covered mints that you ordered sir!

Ringo: **Looks at clock** IT IS 2 AM! why are you bugging me this late? I mean early!? No wait I was right the first time! No, no I wasn't…

Lady: you said you wanted them delivered tonight!

Ringo: well, come back tomorrow! 

Lady: it is tomorrow, sir.

Ringo: oh, bloody `ell… **slams door** **and yells out** YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! **goes back to bed**

~The next morning~

(The gang met up in the main lobby, Ringo is lugging around a big cart of chocolate covered mints, with a considerably lighter wallet. Everyone is standing around with his luggage.) 

Paul: Have a nice sleep everyone?

Ringo: NO!!! **whines**

John: Our car is waiting on us outside!

Duo: OK! Everyone! Out to the car!! ^-^!!

(they all walk out of the building to the main entrance where there are some reporters eager to talk to the Beatles…)

Reporter: what do you expect to find in Australia, boys?

John: Australians I should think!

Ringo: and little hoppy things!

Another Reporter: Paul! Why _are_ you going to Austalia?

Paul: didn't you watch 20/20 yesterday?

Another Reporter: no…why?

George: It said why we are going! **Jumps in car**

(A herd of girls comes around the corner of the building)

John: Oh, bloody 'ell…**Gets in car**

Paul: YESH! **Follows John**

Duo, Wufei, and Quatre: -_-`` **they get in the car**

John: Where's Ringo?

Ringo (outside talking to some girls): Yes, girls I'm available on Thursdays and Fridays!

Paul: Come on, Ringo!! **Pulls Ringo by the collar into the car**

Ringo: ow…what did you do that for?

George: he saved you, you shmuck!

(John reaches into his bag and pulls out the water-balloons, then he rolls down the window and throws the water-balloons at the girls standing outside the car)

Paul: …you are a sad sorry little person, yet you have my pity…

Ringo and George: yes…

~Later at an airport~

John: I don't like these New York airports….there are too many passage ways…

Duo: I agree…

Wufei: section ZZZ-79? **Looks up at a sign which says: A-1** that is Bull!

Quatre: we have to walk that far?

Paul: it looks that way…

Ringo: lets get going while we still can! **walks up to main desk, where there is a cute girl standing**

(John pushes his way through the boys and says::)

John: hello…

Lady: hello, sir! May I see your ticket?

John: yes, you may! **Show her his ticket**

Lady: well, I see you the 'ZZZ' section!

Ringo: where might that be, Miss?

Lady: well, just fallow the signs, **Points up to a big billboard that shows the way** and here are your canteens, and first AID kit! Good luck!

Paul: that's _really _assuring…

Wufei: **forcing a laugh** let's get going before the wolves get us!

Lady: oh that reminds me we _do_ have lions, tigers, and bears! Oh my!

Quatre: very funny…

Lady: I'm serious…

Duo: …ok…

Ringo: …let's go…**is trying to push everyone along, especially John who is glued to the cute girl** c`mon, John!

~3 days later~

John: **river-eyes** I told you I didn't like New York airports for a reason!

Paul: **with a torn sleeve and coat** I see what you mean, mate…

Duo: it bit my braid! **Cries, while trying to braid it back**

Quatre: oi…

Wufei: hurry up, we're gonna miss the flight! **runs over and gets on plane**

The Beatles: **they look at each other and say::** We know how that fells! **get on the plane**

Wufei: **Shrugs, then gets on the plane**

Duo: where's Quatre? 

Wufei: ?? why is it always me that ends up dragging someone somewhere? **Runs off the plane and grabs Quatre by the collar and drags him on the plane**

Quatre: **River eyes** meannie…

~12 hours later~

(They landed on the most western side of Australia)

Duo: why do they have to land here…then we somehow have to get to the most eastern side!

Wufei: oh well, better than having to walk…

Paul: I think we do have to walk…

John: oh bloody `ell…

Ringo: well, if we do, we still have those canteens, and I have a map of Australia and a compass…

Quatre: well we need to head east! It may be easiest to go along the ocean and follow it to Sidney…

George: he has a point, Sidney is on the coast…

Paul: ok! Let's go!

(They all start walking along the coast of the island, luckily they were all wearing light clothes, Duo, being the American he is, is in black shorts a Hawaiian over shirt that hangs open…oi…Quatre, with his usual quaky's made into shorts…but a red shirt with a black stripe…and Wufei, long black pants and a white shirt…how original…now that you know the pilots clothing lets go to the Beatles! Announcer Guy?

AG: Yes, Paul is in blue jeans with a white shirt and a red over shirt that has a pineapple on it! I remind you the Beatles used in this story are the era of Sgt. Peppers! A lovely one! Jack E. Chan?

JEC: yes and Ringo! Wearing a pair of baggy blue jeans and a wonderful white shirt! Joan A.?

JA: George! The silent guy is wearing nothing but his underwear!

Paul: Oh no your not!

George: I'm not!! Who wrote this thing?! **cries**

JA: sorry, can't I dream!?

John: …

JA: he actually wearing a pair of ripped blue jean shorts! ^-^! And a white shirt that is hanging open! **Drools**

George: save me…

John: it's not all that bad!!

Ringo: …

JA: Jack E. Chan?

JEC: Announcer Guy?

AG: Author?

Author: ok! And now for me favorite Beatle! JOHN!

John: Hey! Can I get your number??

Author: **Blushes** John is in a pair of Lee jeans that are ripped at the shin, he is also wearing a short sleeved shirt, that is hanging open, with a trendy light black vest! **Smiles**)

Wufei: that was very informative, yet very pointless…

Quatre: I agree…

Duo: ¬.¬`` ok…let's get on with the story before anything else happens…to George…

George: **Cries** it's not my fault! 

Paul: well, at least we don't have to see you walking along the beach in your knickers! 

John: **Trying to keep from laughing** yeah, that's a BIG relief!

Ringo: I'll say…

George: …-_-`` oi…

Duo: ¬.¬`` again…

Wufei: ok…now that you know the new faction trends, let's go!

All: gladly…

(they all continue walking)

~Meanwhile on the other side of the island…~

Leader Minstrel: NO! They've gotten onto the island! We must stop them somehow…what do you think Odd Job?

Odd Job: I suggest releasing the dinosaurs, master…**smiles from the shadows**

LM: nice thinking, my friend, I shall welease Bwian!

Odd Job: …ummm, sir?

LM: oh, sorry I mean…I shall release the T-rex! **laughs a deep, evil laugh**

(as the leader minstrel looks over his band of 50,000 soldier minstrels, he smiles. Then his eyes wonder to the three gundam pilots, and smiles widely when catching a glimpse of the Kool-Aid smiley faces drawn on the duck tape that covered their mouths)

(Miliardo and Trowa begin thinking to themselves: Why can't Heero find a way out of this?

Heero thinking to himself: Why can't I find a way out of this?)

LM: Release the monsters!

(Miliardo Trowa and Heero look up in concern for their friends…then a minstrel in the back of the warehouse pushes a big red button releasing the t-rex's)

~Back on the beach~

Quatre: well, at this rate it will take us a month to get to Sidney…

Duo: is that if we keep walking all day? Or if we stop for a few days?

Quatre: non-stop…but who knows it may take us months…

Ringo: oh……**looks up and sees a small hut** hey, what's that?

Paul: hmmm…looks like a hut to me…

John: we know that, you twit…

George: he means who lives there, I'm guessing…

Wufei: well, John, you're the one always bursting in on people, so be our guest!

John: why not?

(John walks over to the hut and knocks on the door, no answer, he opens the door. He finds millions of test tubs models of various contraptions, and weapons. Ringo and Paul then stick their heads in the door.)

Ringo: what's that? **as he points toward a glowing light in a back room, sparks begin to fly from the room**

Paul: what in the world…

(John begins to slowly walk toward the room as the rest of the gang enters the hut. As John walks closer to the door he can here voice say: 'YES! I have done it! The ultimate weapon!' Moving even closer to the door, John stops, suddenly the voice that John heard became a person, a short, plump, Hawaiian man (this was obvious because of the tan that he had and the shirt that he wore said, 'aloha, from a Hawaiian' on the back…John took a few small steps backward.)

The man: AH! Hello! I was expecting you! Come in, come in! I have a few things for you! That is, if you are they…

John: **nervously** t-they? 

The man: I am S! I was told that I may have some visitors from America?

Duo: we are from America…

S: but are you they?

Ringo: what the bloody `ell does that mean?!

S: AH! You are they! **He smiles as he looks around at the seven** I was told by Headquarters that four British men were coming along with an American an Arab and Chinese boy! You _have _to be they!

John: we must be…they…

Wufei: ho boy…

Paul: do you know all of our names?

S: a-no…I know the names…but not the people…

John: well, I'm John Len-

S: **covering Johns mouth** I know who you are, you're John Lennon! And they, **Nods at Paul, Ringo, and George** are the rest of the Beatles…

Duo: smart ain't ya?

S: and you must be Duo?

Duo: Yea! See you are smart!

Wufei: my name must be obvious…

S: AH! Chang!

Quatre: **Tying to keep from laughing** T-that's his last name…

S: it comes first on this list I was sent…**shows them a list of names**

Wufei: I Chinese…remember?

S: OH! Yes, I see! Wufei is you!

Wufei: yeah, Wufei is…me…

S: and the last remaining is Quatre!

Quatre: **Smiles** hello!

S: ok! Well, as I said I am S! And I am the official weapon creator for headquarters, and-

Duo: What happened to A-R? 

S: They either died or retiered…but, moving on- and I am here to arm you with weapons beyond your wildest dreams! First we have the 'Disintegration gun'! My newest and greatest invention! **he wheels out a cart that has a rather small gun on it**

Wufei: that's……it…

S: oh, this is no ordinary gun! Watch what it does! C'mon! Follow me! **He walks out side to he edge of the forest, looks around and sees a bore** watch what it does to this wild bore! **he fires the gun and the bore disintegrates**

John: @.@`` whoa…**looks at the steaming heap of ash on the forest floor**

Ringo: ouch

S: And I have seven of them! One for each of you! **Pulls out a bag of the Disit-guns**

Paul: nice…**Takes one**

(the rest of them take a gun)

Duo: thanks, I guess…

S: it was my pleasure! And oh, do watch your step! **Walks back to his hut and closes the door**

John: **beginning to walk off** Why would we need to watch out step? It's a beach, like there's gonna be a big sandpit or a big HOLYYYYYYY COW! **falls into a hole**

Paul: you all right, mate? **helps John out of the hole**

John: I'm fine but I don't think—oh my gentle Jesus…

(John and the rest are looking at what John fell into- what appeared to be dinosaur tracks…)

Duo: no way…t-that's impossible!

Ringo: **in a very nervous voice** d-don't be so sure of yourself, mate…**points at something BIG moving in the wood**

(The massive creature sees the boys, they stand frozen watching it, the creature comes out of the woods and stands, all 50 feet of it, in front of them, staring them all right at eye level. Just as the sun begins to set, two minuets latter, the t-rex slowly walks toward them. It seemed to be looking mostly at John, only because he was standing in front of them all, then the monster roared a high roar right at the faces of them all. It did nothing after that, it simply rose its head and turned away. The boys, seeing the opportunity, all take off running into the forest, the t-rex, not being _too_ dumb to relies the situation, takes off after them. The boys, being careful to run under only the smallest tree's to slow it down, see far in the distance four young boys, that appeared to be Kyle, Stan, Cartman, and Kenny…the South-park kids…The boys run by them with the T-rex gaining, but then the T-rex stopped in front of the kids, it looked at Kenny, licked it's lips, and ate him.)

Stan: Oh, my GOD! You killed Kenny!

Kyle: You {Censored}!

John: **Still running** poor little buggar…

Ringo: wait! We have a clear shot, and he's being distracted! 

Duo: YEAH! Let's do it! **Pulls out gun**

(James Bond music begins playing in background)

All: YEA! **They all raise their guns** 

John: READY…………AIM…………FIRE!!!!

(They all fire their disintegration guns at the dino, it shakes its head then disintegrates)

TO BE CONTINUED……


	2. The Middle!

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY INSANE

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY INSANE!

Part 2: The Middle

Last time the boys had defeated just one of the Minstrels traps, what lies ahead for our hero's? Read and find out…

Ringo: **Still out of breath** well…I think a nap would do me a world of good…

John: **pant, pant** Yeah, really…**Plops himself down on a log behind him**

Duo: **lowers him gun** heh-…well…wasn't that fun?

Quatre: ummm…guys…where are we?

(They all turn to see what Quatre was talking about. As far as the eye could see, there was no ocean, no sand, only trees, and outback. They all agreed that they should stick together, just in case something more comes up as a trap. So, they continued to wander around the hot outback, untill…)

George: **trips over a camera mans legs, who is kneeling in the bushes** What in the bloody `ell!?

John: …you tripped over someone, twit…

Cameraman: you mind being quiet? I'm filming here! 

(Wufei moves the bushes so he can see what the man was filming, it appeared to be an episode of 'Survivor'…the last one…)

Paul: that is pathetic!

John: I'll say…

Ringo: lets keep moving! Leave them alone!

(They continue walking and then hours later, they past a small oasis, and the camp for the survivor show…a short while later…)

Wufei: **from behind a very sweaty face** any know what time it is?

Duo: nearly 7 PM…

Paul: should we rest here?

John: yes, please…

Ringo: well, I'm spent…**Sits down on and old tree stump**

George: **yawns** sleep is good…

Ringo: yeah, really…**the log he's sitting on and the land around it begins cracking** what in the bloody 'ell… **listens closely** you here that mates? Sounds like something's under the GROUND!!!

(The land which Ringo was sitting on caved in bringing with it Ringo, who was still hanging on to part of a root to keep from falling any further. One reason being because the bottom consisted of water and sharks…)

Ringo: this is just not my day…

John: no duh, mate… **Kneels down and try's to grab Ringo's hand** you're too far down!

Duo: Have you got something to stand on?

Ringo: Yeah, I got one foot on a root or something!

Wufei: OK!

George: we gotta find something to get him out of there with!

Paul: well, duh, Geo…

John: ok, I guess all of us should look for something…

Quatre: ok! We'll split up! 

Ringo: …**Cries** I want me mum!!

(They all split up in different directions, George, hurrying off in the direction they came, had a plan. He ran back to the camps they had past before, he hid in the bushes and saw the tribes from survivor having a tug of war. (Please don't flame me if they did have a tug of war in the show, it just had to happen…because…oh, you'll find out…) George then ran out of the bushes, grabbed the rope in between the two teams and said: 'TEAM BLUE WINS!' both the teams looked up in confusion, considering that there is no blue team. They let go of the rope and George ran off with it…)

(When George came back, everyone but him were there…)

Duo: George! Where did you get that!?

George: I have my ways…

Ringo: **Just as a shark bites for Ringo's leg::* WHA! GET ME OUT OF HERE! 

John: We're coming Ring! C'mon Geo, tie a loop at one end!

George: OK, ok! Keep your pants on!…for all our sake…**Ties a loop at one end, then hand it to Paul, who is standing closest to the hole**

Paul: Ok, Ring! Here!

(Paul throws the rope down to Ringo, he puts one foot in the loop and the boys pull him to safety…right before a shark bit the root out of the wall, which Ringo was holding on to…)

Ringo: **faints**

Wufei: that was appropriate…

Quatre: yeah, really **falls asleep**

Everyone else: agreed…**they all go to sleep**

~Back at Minstrel HQ (or MHQ)~

Leader Minstrel: DAMN! How is this possible?! They demolish my dinosaur! They sink my pit! GRRR! My plans!!

Odd Job: sir, may I suggest--**hold up a small blue gold carving of a scarab**

LM: Yes, my little buggy friends may do the job…**pulls out the 'Book Of The Dead'.**

~Back at the boys' camp site the next morning at 7 AM~

Duo: **Yawns while eating turkey jerky** you know, what's the difference between Turkey jerky and beef jerky?

Wufei: BEEF JERKY IS STRONGER! 

Duo: I mean…besides that…

Paul: I don't really think there is a difference, mate…

Duo: then how do they make turkey jerky?

John: It's really a simple process…

Ringo: oh, _you_ know how to make turkey jerky??

John: Yes, as a matter of fact, I do!

George: …

John: see, what you do, is you take a really good piece of meat…and then a New York City cab driver sits on it for three months!

Paul: **laughs** heh-oh, really?

Duo: ^-^`! Good joke…

John: I'm serious…

Duo: …**puts down the jerky**

Wufei: let's get going before Duo gets sick…

Quatre: …**Whispers to John** is that how they really make it??

John: **Smiles evilly** Yes…

George: I guess I'll bring along this rope…you never know when Ringo's gonna fall in another hole!

Ringo: e-heh…

Paul: oh, boy…

~Later…~

(they somehow made it back to the beach, and to S's hut…)

S: did the guns do ok?

Duo: yeah!

Wufei: heh-fun…

S: I'm glad you like them, they are yours to keep!

All: YEAH!

S: and I have another gadget for you…a BMW V-8, the finest car on the market…**Pulls a sheet off of a VERY nice looking black car**

Paul: Cool beans!

S: this is no ordinary car, boys…this car is equipped with…a hell of a lot of stuff…just watch James Bond…

Duo: …you're really helpful… 

S: Just push the various buttons and they will do various things!

Wufei: like what?

S: well, missiles may fly out, tranquilizers, machine gun, and a _very_ high tech alarm system!

Ringo: Nice alarm system?

S: when the alarm system is on, the car cannot be damaged in any way shape or form…not even a bazooka could hurt this baby…and if anyone tries to open it they will be shocked with a wave of electric current! 

John: convenient…

S: Oh! And I also made a special modification just for you! Just look in the trunk…

John: OK! 

(John walks to the back of the car, touches the handle, and gets shocked…his hair standing on end…)

John: Ow… **flattens down hair** you did that on purpose!

S: oh, sorry…**Turns off alarm system**

John: …¬.¬`` 

(John opens the trunk and finds three brand new guitars each one embroidered in pure silver with the names John, Paul, and George…Johns for some reason had something in it…a pack of matches…)

S: sorry, my cat smokes…nasty habit…

John: Right…**puts the matches in his pocket**

George: and what's this? You put a can of gasoline in the trunk?

S: for when you run out of gas! 

George: there isn't enough gas here to power a motorcycle around the outside of a penny! **holds up a can about the size of his own hand, then puts it in his pocket**

S: well, you never know…

(Then a new drum set for Ringo was visible. The drums had pure silver rims, and on the two side drums that stuck out it said Ringo Starr, with lots of stars around his name)

Ringo: That's bloody sweet! **picks up drumsticks**

John: **Smiles** thank you! 

Paul: yeah! You remembered that I needed a left-handed guitar! ^-^!

George: I'm gonna copy John… **Smiles** thank you!

John: …o…k…

Duo: a man and his instrument…**sweat-drop**

Wufei: …it's a sad, sad day…

Quatre: it's isn't all that disgusting! 

Wufei and Duo: ¬.¬``

Ringo: I'm _so _happy! **puts drumsticks back in trunk and closes it**

The Beatles: ………………………………………

Ringo: what?!

John: nothing, nothing!

S: oh, and I did make a few adjustments to the car other than weapons and gadgets like that…

Wufei: what did you do to it??

S: I gave it a removable roof! **opens the car door and pushes a button, the roof of the car vanishes** 

Duo: ^-^! A convertible!!

All: -_-`` 

George: **Throws rope in the back of the car** well, lets go!!

John OK! I'll drive!

Duo: SHOT-

Paul: SHOTGUN!

Duo: damn it…

John: hey you got to drive it the whole time in the other series!

Duo: **cries** but I wanted to drive!

Wufei: no, you get stuck in traffic too easy…

Quatre: and you get lost easy, too!

Duo: **while trying to hold back his anger** ok…fine, I'll sit in the back…

S: you're lucky that those seats are wide enough! Four people can comfortably fit in the back and three in the front! 

Paul: hmm…people reading this were getting scared we were going to put George in the trunk, weren't ya?

George: …why you…**Grumble, grumble…then gets in car**

(They all scramble for a moment trying to decide who would sit in the middle in the front, Wufei won the 'Paper, Rock, Scissors' game so he sat in the front then everyone else sat in the back…)

S: OK! **opens the hanger at the back of the hut**

John: He-he-he! **drives off onto the beach**

S: they are gonna get themselves killed…**Closes hanger and walks back to his lab shaking his head**

~A few hours later on the beach~

Duo: …you here that?

Paul: **listens closely in concern** Yeah…hey, John, stop the car.

John: -k-…**Stops the car and turns off the engine**

Wufei: what is that sound?

Quatre: …sounds like crickets…or some kind of bug…

George: …si…

Ringo: ……**looking into the woods** oh, bloody `ell…not again…

George: …it's some kind of black bug…

John: yeah…**Gets out of car** a damn big swarm of them!

(the rest of the boys get out of the car to get a better look)

John: just so the car will be safe…**puts alarm system on car**

Paul: yeah, worry about the car…forget about our safety…

Ringo: **Sweat-drop**

George: I'll get the rope! **Gets rope out of back seat** 

Duo: Do you think Ringo's gonna fall in another hole??

George: I dunno, you never know when you might need a little rope…

Wufei: …

Quatre: they're getting closer!

Wufei: HEY! Wait a sec…I've seen this movie. The Chinese dude dies first!

Paul: Very funny…

John: actually, I've seen this movie…and those things are afraid of fire…

George: …**Looks at rope in deep thought, then gets an idea** Quick, guys, get in a circle with your backs to each other!

(Immediately, the boys get in a big circle, leaving a space for George. George then made a circle with the rope around them, pulled out the gasoline from his pocket, poured it all onto the rope, and then asked:)

George: John?? Do you still have those matches??

John: yeah! **Pulls out the matches and throws them to George**

George: OK! **Gets in the circle then lights a match and throws it at the rope**

(The rope bursts into flames just as the scarabs come herding out of the wood. They surround the fire that George made, and cannot penetrate it.)

Duo: **sweating from the heat** What…now genius?

George: I'm working on it…

(Suddenly the sky goes an aerie colour of black, the fire goes out and the scarabs turn into little blue gold carvings.)

Wufei: What in the world…

Paul: my thoughts exactly…**moves forward**

George: All my plans work out perfectly!

John: …well, I do admit you did save us, but you certainly didn't do _that_…**Points at the millions of scarabs frozen in blue gold**

George: sure I did! I just…I just………I dunno…

Ringo: well, let's get going…**Walks over to the car, touches the handle, and gets shocked by the security system** John…you mind, mate? **Flattens hair**

John: not my fault! I told you it was on!

Ringo: …oh, please, just turn it off…

Paul: stop that bitching you two…

John and Ringo: yes, master… **John turns off system and everyone gets in**

(They continue driving along the cost and everyone falls asleep…accept John…)

John: oh bloody `ell

~Back at MHQ~

LM: NOOO!!! NOT AGAIN! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!?!

Odd Job: I do not know, sir…**takes the 'Book Of The Dead' from the Leader Minstrel** the spell put on the scarabs is none-reversible, sir…I-I don't know how this could have happened!

LM: Oh, I have an idea of how it happened…and in the future…it will not happen…

Odd Job: sir?

LM: never mind…just I have a job for you Odd Job…

(Everything falls into a whisper between Odd Job and the Leader Minstrel.)

~The next morning at the boys' camp, somewhere on the outside of Brisbane, a city about 450mi north of Sydney (Sorry is I spelled it as 'Sidney' before…)~

(As they all walks towards a small bar)

John: **Talking to Duo** want any jerky? **smiles**

Duo: …no thanks…**backs away from it**

Wufei: **laughs**

Paul: you are very cruel, John…

John: Yes, I know…

Ringo: what do you suppose they have at that bar?

George: I dunno…

Quatre: food, one should hope…

Duo: …duh…but it's no Denny's diner…

(When they made it to the bar…)

John: **To the bar tender** I'll have a martini…shaken, not stirred…

Bar Tender: this early in the morning? Pal, are you sure? It could kill you!

John: my middle name is Danger…

Paul: **who has been listening in; looks over John's shoulder at the bar tender** actually, his middle name is Winston…

John: **Face turns red with anger** shut…up…_James…_

Paul: DON'T CALL ME THAT!

(for non-Beatles fans Paul's full name is James Paul McCartney and John's is John Winston Lennon…yikes…)

Bar Tender: …ok…fine…here's your martini, sir…oh, and the man down at the other end of the bar said that he would pay for it…

John: **Glasses slid down the bridge of his nose** really…**Looks down at the other end of the bar and sees a man (it is Odd Job…but John and the others don't know that…))**

John: hey, boys…get a loud of that guy…**nods down at him**

Ringo: he's got a nice hat…

George: **hits Ringo upside the head** twit…

Wufei: oi…what about him, John?

Duo: What? Do you think he poisoned you drink or something?

Paul: …**whispering to John** didn't he buy that drink for you?

John: yeah…

Quatre: **with his head in between Paul and John conversation** I wouldn't drink it…

John: …are you always this persistent? 

Duo: yes…

Quatre: …-_-``

Paul: I wouldn't either though, John, if I were you…

John: ummm…Bar Tender? Could you take this back? I'll have some scrambled eggs instead!

BT: sure…**He takes the martini back to the back of the bar…the martini blows up, killing the Bar Tender…**

Duo: **looking over the bar to see what happened** maybe you should of gotten it stirred… 

John: where's my scrambled eggs??

Paul: **Rolls eyes** C`mon, guys, there has to be a better place than this…

All: Ok…

(they walked out of the bar…Odd Job fellows…they walk over to the car and Odd Job stands outside the bar door)

Wufei: how do you suppose we get rid of him?

John: There has to be something on this car that can do the job…I just gotta find it! *Pushes a button**

(Suddenly a laser comes out of the top of the car and fires a laser beam up into the sky)

Odd Job: well that didn't work…**Pulls out a chair**

Ringo: what the bloody `ell?  
Odd job: DIE YOU NINNIES! **Throws a bunch of chairs at them**

John: OH BLOODY `ELL! **Jumps behind car and puts the alarm system on**

(The rest of them get behind the car as well)

Paul: there's got to be something we could throw at him!

John: I'm working on it! **Pushing buttons randomly** they all do attacks from the front! **John pushes another button and a canon ball goes flying out of the tail pipe, hits Odd Job in the head and kills him**

Quatre: that's not a very pretty site…

Duo: …@.@ wow! COOL BEANS!

Wufei: damn it…and I was going to throw a pineapple at him…

All: …

(They all get in the car and they start driving to Sydney)

Paul: what are we gonna do?

Ringo: I don't know, but I want me mum!

John: all's I know is that we have to get to Sydney before something bad happens…

TO BE CONTINUED… 

PLEASE R&R! ^-^!


	3. The End!

And Now For Something Completely Insane

And Now For Something Completely Insane!

Part 3: The End

Last time Ringo fell in a hole, Odd Job was killed, and some unexplained things happened! All your questions will be answered in the final episode of insanity! 

(Where we last left our boys…)

Wufei: what do you mean, 'before something bad happens'? 

Duo: yeah, lots of bad things have already happened!

Paul: I think he meant before something _really_ bad happened…

Quatre: oh…

George: well…from here it's about 400 miles to Sydney…that could take a day or so…

Ringo: There should be a button that would make us go faster…

John: Let's find out! **Pushes a button; the laser comes out and shots into the sky again** oops…ummm…how about this one…**suddenly the car stops…**

Duo: that button did a world of good…

Ringo: I'll say…

George: So…what are we gonna DOOOO!!

(The car suddenly went speeding off along the sand of the beach. John, who was hanging onto the wheel for dear life, was trying hard to not hit the people that were sitting on the beach…)

Ringo: **yells** Shut-----it-----off!!

Paul: **yells back to Ringo** I---don't---know---how!!

Wufei: …Try—the—big—red—button—that—says—'STOP'!!

Paul: OH! RIGHT! **Pushes the button**

(the car stops)

John: Oh…me head…

Ringo: me bum hurts…

Paul: …**sees smoke coming from the engine** oh, bloody `ell…**gets out of car**

Duo: do we have ant tools?

Quatre: Look! **looking under the seat** here's some! 

Wufei: ok…I guess we have to get to work!!

John: by the way…where are we?

Paul: **looks over at a sign** that sign says Port Macquarie…

Quatre: if my navigation sills are correct…then we're only 187 ½ miles away from Sydney!

~Back at MHQ~

Leader Minstrel: WHAT???!!! They killed Odd Job, _and_ they traveled 262 and ½ miles in 3 SECONS???!!! How is this possible?!?!?!  
(A woman walks into the room with a man following her)

Woman: Sir, this is your replacement for Odd Job…**the man steps out from behind her** his name is Cold Finger…

Cold Finger: I am here to serve…

LM: what do you do?

Cold Finger: Sir?

LM: How do you attack people?

Cold Finger: Oh, I shall show you, sir! **He turns around to the woman that led him there, touched her on the hand with him finger; which was ice blue, and the woman was frozen like a statue**

LM: hmmm… handy little thing… 

Cold Finger: thank you sir…

LM: Now…all I have to do…is wait for them to get here…then…they will be frozen in my grasp! **puts Darth Vader Helmet on; starts breathing like him** Hooooo…..heeeeeeee…….hoooooooo….heeeeeeee…..hoooooo….hee **Cough** GAH! **takes off helmet** I can't breath in this thing!! **Throws it away**

~Back on the beach…~

Duo: **while wiping sweat off his head** there! 

Ringo: where did that sweat come from? It's the middle of the night! 

Duo: Just for the effect!

John: …well…is that all that needs to be done?

Quatre: well, yes…it is seems we can set the car on the amount of miles we need to go…

Wufei: how far was that again?

Quatre: 187 ½…

Paul: it doesn't have a setting for ½! 

Quatre: set it for 187 then! We can run ½ mile!

George: Right! **sets a little gage on 187** all set!

Duo: **shuts the hood and gets in car** woohoo! Sydney! Here we come!

Paul: Right…

John: **puts on seat belt** well…it does go damn fast…

Ringo: good idea…**puts seat belt on**

John: Everyone ready?

All: YEA!

John: ok! **pushes the button from before and the car goes zooming off to Sydney**

(2 seconds later)

Paul: …weee…**Is dizzy**

John: well, we're here! 

Quatre: we just gotta walk a little further…

Ringo: right…

John: I'll park the car in the trees so it won't be seen and I'll put the alarm on it!

(a half hour later…) 

Duo: why is this taking so long?

George: I think because we don't know the way…but we're there…see? **Points at a sign that said: 'Welcome to Sydney! The home of the Minstrels Hide Out!'**

Paul: now, that's just stupid…

Ringo: I agree…

Wufei: hey, it says where it is too! About 20 feet from this billboard?!

(They all go around the side of the billboard and see the minstrel HQ)  
John: that was convenient…

Quatre: yeah…

(They all walk up to the MHQ and knock on the door…no answer…they open the door and see it was disserted…they walked in and looked around, no one was found…but then after a few minutes of searching::)

Duo: Guys! I found them! **Opens a curtain to reveal Milliardo, Trowa, and Heero**

Heero: It's a trap you numb skull! 

Milliardo: Get out of here!!

Quatre: We're not leaving without you three!

George: Here! Hurry! **Throws a knife to Duo, who begins cutting away at the rope holding them to the chairs**

Trowa: You need to get out of here before you get yourselves killed!

Duo: Hang on! I almost got it! **Cuts the last rope**

Heero: Now, let's get out here!!

All: Right! **They all start running toward the door; but then a big net scoops up Heero, Trowa and Milliardo**

Ringo: God damn it…

Trowa: just get out of here!

Paul: …alright…*runs toward the door with the others following**

(As they are about to go through the doors they are slammed shut by two of the solider minstrels…)

Wufei: this won't end well…

George: no…it won't…

(They all turn just in time to see The Leader Minstrel and Cold Finger coming from the shadows)

LM: well…well…well…looks like we caught a few fish in our net!

Heero: **death glare**

LM: I'm afraid that that little glare of yours can't help you now…

Milliardo: **rolls eyes**

LM: well, now…and look what else we caught! Intruders…

Paul: intruding isn't as bad as kidnapping…

LM: oh….that hurt! But I'm sure that this will hurt you more than it will hurt me…**pushes a button and the floor begins to open into a tank filled with liquid hot magma** 

John: OH SHIT!

Paul: that was uncalled for…

Ringo: **cries** I want me mum…

George: So do I!

~Meanwhile…millions of miles above the earth~

(you see a Laser beam flying into space; the laser beam that John accidentally shot in the last episode……it hits a satellite and goes flying back to earth; just by chance it goes flying down to the MHQ and…)

~back down on earth~

Cold Finger: **Sees the laser beam and holds his finger in the air; the laser beam become frozen and falls on top of the LM knocking him down** HAHAHA! I have done it!

John: hey! The floor stopped moving!

LM: YOU MADE ME FALL ON THE REMOTE! YOU BLOCK HEAD!

Cold Finger: I'm sorry master…but its better than being zapped…

LM: I DON'T CARE! **pushes Cold Finger into the open part of the floor**

Cold Finger: Ouchies… **Dies**

Ringo: I'll say…

LM: And now! **looks up at the seven** to finish you off! **Pulls a gun out**

~Back in outer space…~

(the other beam that was fired does the same as the first and goes plummeting back down to the MHQ)

~Back to earth…again~

LM: **Looks up and sees the laser beam** Oh…damn…**gets hit and falls into the liquid hot magma**

George: now, _that_ was lucky…

John: thanks to me, we are saved! 

Duo: well…

Wufei: I guess…

Quatre: it's true…

Paul: now he's gonna be full of himself the rest of the night…

Ringo: we gotta get over there! **Points to the other side of the floor and jumps across it**

John: ^-^!!!!!!!! **Jumps across**

Paul: oh, no…**jumps across**

Duo, Wufei, Quatre and George: …ALIUP! **They all jump across**

Duo: **looking up at Trowa Heero and Miliardo** this may hurt you guys a little more than it hurts me! **Cuts a rope that is holding up the net they are in; they fall to the ground**

Trowa, Heero, and Miliardo: thanks…………we think…**rubs head**

George: there's still something I don't understand…

Ringo: …everything?

George: nooo…how did all those bugs disappear?

(a pineapple appears)

Quatre: AHHH! Not you again!

Duo: …ooooookkkkkkkkk…

Pineapple: I can answer that question… 

John: sure you can…

Pineapple: **Stares evilly at John** you have to go back in time boys!

All: ?????????????????????

Pineapple: let me spell it out for you! **pulls down a poster that has everything that happened** OK this is what happened and happens! First you got saved, by who knows what on the beach from the scarabs, then you finally make it here kill the Leader Minstrel and his side kick…after that in the future, you go back in time with the ' Book Of The Dead', and you put a spell on the scarabs that is none-reversible…like my raincoat…

Heero: ok…

Miliardo: that made absolutely no sense…

Ringo: yes it did…

John: Yeah, I understand!

George: Me too!

Paul: me…four!

Duo: why is it always them? THEY ALWAYS UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING!!!  
Wufei: oh…and you do?

Quatre: **laughs**

Trowa: …the 'Book Of The dead' would that by chance be this **Hold up a big book he found lying on the ground** 

Pineapple: YEA! Microwave!

John: what does a Microwave have to do with anything?

Pineapple: …nothing…

Paul: …you frighten me…

Pineapple: great to hear it!

Ringo: loon…

Pineapple: just turn the book to page 7…and do any of you read ancient Egyptian?

Ringo &George: **Raises hand**

John: Since when??

Ringo: Since I went to school!

Paul: oi…

Pineapple: Well…good luck! **Pushes a button and a light glows around Ringo and George** have fun! **they disappear**

Paul: ?????

John: ditto…

Wufei: …so what do w do?

Pineapple: We eat PIZZA! **pulls out a pizza**

All: YEA!

Duo: so, what time and place did they get sent to?

Pineapple: Well, the spot they were standing a second ago, and the time would be yesterday, about two hours before the scarab encounter…

John: THE SAME PLACE??

Paul: oh, no…

(They all look around in the empty warehouse…)

Trowa: ummm, when they released the scarabs, it wasn't empty in here…

All: oh, crap…

~Back in the past~ 

Ringo: **While running from millions of Minstrels** THAT STUPID PINEAPPLE!

George: I'LL KILL 'IM!! **Running right behind Ringo**

Ringo: Look! **Points at a ridge** If we can make it over, maybe we can loose them!  
George: I'm up for anything right now!

(They both run over to the ridge and jump; it's ends up there wasn't any ground on the other end of the ridge…)

Ringo: this may not end well…**Falls down into the river at the bottom**

George: …you are a twit… **Falls after Ringo**

(They go falling off the ledge which was about 20 feet above a large river. They hit the water; but luckily George still had the book)  
~Later~

Ringo: I'm still drenched…

George: oh, and I'm not?

Ringo: well, you know what I mean…

George: It was your idea, genius…

Ringo: well, thank you…

George: **Looking back** looks like we won't see them again…

Ringo: **Looks back** Yeah, really…

George: how are we gonna find the hut?

Ringo: I dunno…**THUMP; runs into the hut** I found it…

George: **still looking backwards** you did? **runs into it to** oh, so did I!

Ringo: what was it? About an hour that way? **points in the directions of tier tracks**

George: Lead the way…after all you ARE the smart one…

Ringo: …yeah…

~An hour later~

Ringo: Look! It's…us…

George: we'd best get in the bushes…

Ringo: Right.

(They both get into the bushes and watch the incident as it happened. Just after the Past George lit the rope on fire, the future Ringo and George read the first incantation from the book: the sky turned dark. They read the second incantation: the fire goes out. They read the their incantation: the scarabs turn to carvings…)

Ringo: now what do we do?

George: we have to get back to the MHQ…

Ringo: right…we can ummm…get in the trunk!

George: ?! What?!

Ringo: it's the only way!

~When the car stopped in Sydney~

(All the stuff happened that I said happened at the beginning and then they get out of the trunk)

Ringo: I think it's ok now…**walks up to the MHQ door and opens it just in time to see himself and George being transported back in time**

Duo: that was quick…

John: what happened?

Ringo: you lived it…

George: yeah, really…

~Later~

(The Beatles got the instruments out of the back of the car and begin playing a song! You might laugh at the lyrics, but it's a good song!! ^-^!)

John: o/` I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together. 

See how they run like pigs from a gun see how they fly, 

I'm cryen`.

Sitting on a cornflake—waiting for the van to come.

Corporation teashirt, stupid bloody Tuesday

man you been a naughty boy

you let your face grow long.

I am the eggman, they are the eggmen—I am the walrus GOO GOO GOO JOOB.

Mr. city policeman sitting pretty little policeman in a row,

see how they fly like Lucy in the sky—see how they run

I'm crying—I'm crying I'm crying.

Yellow matter custard dripping from a dead dogs eye.

Crabalocker fishwife pornographic priestess

boy you been a naughty girl, 

you let knickers down.

I am the eggman, they are the eggmen –I am the walrus. GOO GOO GOO JOOB

Sitting in an English waiting for the sun,

If the sun don't come, you get a tan from standing in the English rain.

I am the eggman, they are the eggmen—I am the walrus GOO GOO GOO JOOB.

Expert texpert choking smokers don't you think the joker laughs at you? HOHOHO HEHEHE HAHAHA!

See how they smiles, like pigs in a sty, see how they snied.

I'm crying.

Semolina pilchard climbing up the Eiffel Tower. Elementry penguin singing Hare Krishna man you should have seen them kicking Edgar Allen POE.

I am the eggman, they are eggmen—I am the walrus GOO GOO GOO JOOB 

GOO GOO GOO JOOB GOO GOO GOOOOOOOOOOOJOOOOOB! o/` 

Duo: …**stares** that song was…different… 

Miliardo: yyyyup…

John: Why thank you!

Paul: **Comes up behind John** I helped…

John: yeah…

Ringo: WEE!! That was fun!

Pineapple: BRAVO! BRAVO! 

Quatre: Where did you come from?!

Pineapple: I just came back to…to…umm…I'm not getting any transmission…

George: …got anymore Pizza? Ringo and me didn't get any…

Pineapple: NO!

Trowa: …

Heero: I say let's kill him…

Wufei: naw…

John: **Smiles evilly** Anyone up for Pineapple football??

Ringo: YEA!

(everyone begins kicking the pineapple into the distance)

!DNE EHT

Author: ?! What's wrong with the ending title?!

Rasid: sorry…

THE END!

Author: Well, there you have it! The boys all ended up ok…they did what they had to do and succeeded! And now for my very long and funny disclaimer…

Disclaimer: I do not own the following things…: Mission: Impossible; James Bond; the Mummy; Jurassic Park; Dune; The Wizard of Oz; The Beatles; Gundam Wing; A-1 Bull; New York Air Ports; Sydney, Australia; Lee Jeans---

~A week later~

Author: Hawaii; Sgt. Peppers; Magical Mystery Tour; 'I am The Walrus'; Jackie Chan; Monty Python; Kool-Aid; Bobby Knight; Austin Powers; City Slickers; BMW V-8's; Survivor; 20/20; South park; and I do NOT own Gundam Wing: And the Old Hag! …wait…scratch that last one…

All: **snore**

Author: …well, be sure to look for 'Gundam Wing: And The Old Hag Bloopers behind the scenes and cut scenes'! BYE!! 

Please R&R! ^-^! Hope you liked it!


End file.
